An Attitude Adjustment

The cashier gently suggested that I might consider an attitude adjustment. But she did it so cheerfully that I didn’t even think to defend.


If you just give me the two words ‘attitude adjustment’… a recalcitrant, perhaps nasty child comes to mind, one certainly deserving corrective action. And usually, if someone would suggest that I was the one in need of the adjustment, protest would spring readily to my mind, if not my lips. Today it did not.

I was at the home center, buying shingles for a roof repair, acting on auto-pilot, I suppose. I smiled as I stepped up to check out, and when the cashier asked how I was, I returned a characteristic reply (for me) that included a report on how messy roof repairs can be, how working on a ladder is not my favorite thing, and that it just had to be done…grin and bear it, so to speak. This I shared with her in my inimitable humorous way, of course.


Then she dropped the bomb! She sweetly offered me another way to look at it…an attitude adjustment. And she did it so sweetly that I did not even wince. I even agreed with her that it was only my perspective that made the job unlikeable.


Thank God for cashiers…and for the reminder that I do not have to continue to look at things the same way as I have habitually. I can choose differently. I can change my life.

First Thought

I woke a little before 6 this morning. Immediately on waking, a thought came to me...a word. Awareness. Awareness. As I lay with the thought, another word attached itself. Grateful. Grateful Awareness. Today is a day of grateful awareness.

While sipping my chai, the backside of my awareness came to me in flowing lines.

Blindfolded by Choice

I stumble blindly on

feeling my way

awkwardly

urgency moves me

commands my haphazard steps

but why I do not know

I topple, exhausted

compulsion spent for now

despair lurks

then I finger the blindfold

I wear as habit

protection from unimaginable fates

slip it aside

with hands too weak

to untie the knot

light pierces my knowing

uncomfortable and revealing

I snap my sleep mask back in place

but tantalizing images

have caught my attention

too enticing to abandon

raggedly I resume my movement

peeking from time to time

slowly making friends with light

ahhh...

things go so much easier now

let me ever remember

A Day of Possibilities

Today is a day of possibility...for you...for me. I wrote this earlier, and then found I needed time to ruminate about it.

So often I look at a day in terms of it's insufficiencies, i.e. it's problems...what I don't have right now that I need...when the important business that I'm waiting on will show up.

But what if I presume that all that I envision, all that I desire, all that I hope for is indisputably waiting for me...the travel, the new Mahindra hybrid pickup, the bookshelves full of new books, the many fine meals shared with friends, the great wines drunk, the wildernesses explored.

What if life is like a game show, and I have the opportunity to choose among 3 doors?

But when I choose one door and it does not yield the prize I am hoping for, more doors lie behind it, waiting to be opened...and more...and more...and more...to infinity. There are subtle clues on the doors, pointing me to the desired prize directly, but the solid promise that I will surely win the prize if I keep opening the doors is solid, set in stone.

Well, I might for a while open doors furiously, knowing that it was just a matter of time, but sooner or later I would slow down to pick up the cues/clues. I don't think I would give up, and stop believing the promise set in stone.

Today is a day of possibility for all of us. Doors stand in front of us, waiting to be opened. Clues wait to be examined.

The prize is sure.

Contentment

I don't often read poetry, but American Smooth, by Rita Dove found it's way into my hands. I was struck by four lines in a poem titled The Passage.

I suppose there are lonesome days before me,

but no more so than those that have already passed.

I can make myself contented.

We are having very good weather.

The poem is written in the form of an at-sea journal of a WWI soldier returning home. He reflects on the conflict he endured, his fellow soldiers and his own state of mind, while sharing tight quarters, cooped up on a troop ship that is continually on the lookout for submarine attack.

What struck me was this...though the circumstances of his life were dangerous, unpleasant and uncertain, he acknowledges what is and has been, consciously chooses a better frame of mind than the circumstances seem to indicate, then finds something positive to focus on.

I can make myself contented, he says.

I, too can opt for the gain brought by contentment that I choose. I turn away from pessimism and boredom, look ahead to hope as yet unrealized...and find contentment, sweet contentment.

Shine on, then

This morning I had a small maintenance assignment to do. Simple, I hoped. Nothing happened when the light switch was flipped on in the rest room. First guess? Perhaps the fluorescent tubes were burned out. When I checked the electrical power with my tester, energy was still flowing. So my guess was likely right and I proceeded to buy new tubes and install them. Yep. That was it. Light flooded the room anew.

The energy had been there continuously. It was just the mechanism that translated the energy into light that was faulty...burned out.

That's often the case with me. I know I am connected to a Source of limitless energy. And when I'm working right, I translate that energy into light...for myself, my community and the world. Alas, I too often burn out, working hard. (I've very much come to suspect working hard)

I am renewed by things that feed my soul...books that inspire, friends that warm my heart, stillness that re-connects me. Then, I shine again.

Shine on, then...

P.S. Interestingly, fluorescence is the process that changes energy from one wavelength to another with astounding results, as in fluorescent minerals. (translation, if you will)

Staying in the Flow

I've come to believe that life is good. I didn't always think that way; maybe I thought that sometimes it was good, often difficult. Somewhere along the way, I started thinking it was good, then thought it a little more frequently, thought it more fully. The more I think it, the more I believe it, and the more I see evidence of it in my life.

There is something bigger than my usual thought of myself that surrounds me, envelopes me, moves through me, and carries me. That's an energy that is compassionate, limitless and ever-renewing. When I allow it to carry me, my life illustrates the nature and substance of those qualities.

It is only when I get cross-current to that flow of goodness that I stop feeling good. For me, this usually shows up when I start finding fault with others. An associate I was working with last night really bugged me. She was not doing her share. She was only thinking about herself. She was selfish. And the more I thought about it, the worse I felt. But when I diverted my attention, found other aspects of the work that engaged me, interested me, I began to feel better. So simple.

if mindlessly i float down river
i take what comes
with dim appreciation


unaware,
calamity falls on me
i find someone to blame


mostly unconscious
through nearly shuttered eyes
hints of wholeness drift on by, unseen

When I stay in line with what I know to be so...that life is good, life magically is good. No new thought, but it's staying in the flow that gets me where I want to go.

Thinking with My Heart

Thinking may not be exclusively the domain of the head. I've heard of thinking with other body parts than the head. But I haven't heard much of thinking with the heart. Today, it comes to me.

Heart is the fourth chakra of Hindu Yogic and Tantric traditions. The heart chakra is associated with the ability to make decisions outside of the realm of karma, 'following your heart,' if you will.

I sense my heart as the source of desire, compassion and passion.

So let me think with desire, with passion, and with compassion. If you want to get picky about it, the heart may not really be doing the thinking. But it can certainly set the agenda for thought. It can help me choose what I think...thoughts that align with the very center of me.